When do you know you are a hopelessly addicted female photographer?

  • You go on a first date with lingerie that has little cameras printed on it.
  • Finally the lingerie drawer has to go and your light modifiers now have a proper place.
  • You don’t go to a chick-flick with the girls to stay home and watch Nikon adverts on YouTube.
  • Your supplier keeps phoning to talk to you about fashionable camera straps.
  • Your only suspender belt has ‘Nikon’ embroidered on each suspender.
  • Your new boyfriend is hot because he owns a Leica.
  • A girlfriend says that on the second date you should take your ‘cap’ – you take a lens cap.
  • Love is when you share everything except your camera.
  • Your new boyfriend gave you one of those coffee mugs that look like a camera lens – you like it.
  • You have sewn a cool little pouch onto your camera strap for your lipstick.
  • You have 23 camera shops on speed-dial.
  • You are not ready to sleep with your new boyfriend and tell him to f/stop.
  • You keep spare memory cards in your hidden chocolate box, not chocolate.
  • Your intervalometer fires your Nikon to wake you up in the morning.
  • Family Sunday is portrait day… Yaay!
  • You are unsure what sort of pleasure you should be getting from a softbox.
  • You go to the beach and now have a suspicious white diagonal band across your tan.
  • ‘See-through-sexy’ is a 50mm f1.2.
  • You have a special mirror for straightening your camera straps.
  • You spend 20 minutes in a camera store choosing what colour your next lens cloth should be.
  • Your boyfriend rings and tells you he’s had an accident – you ask if his camera is OK.
  • You ask in a camera shop if you need adoption papers for a ‘Lensbaby’.
  • You finally decide to sleep with your boyfriend – you ask if a UV filter is good enough protection.
  • Your favorite song is “One day my prints will come”…
  • You go to a gynecologist because you have been told you should keep your ‘velvia’ in the fridge.
  • You get a 3-legged cat from the cat home. You call it ‘Tripod’.
  • You know that ‘Green Mode’ does not mean you are a vegetarian.
  • Your hand-luggage is heavier than your suitcases.
  • Lenses owned: 26. Pairs of shoes: 1
  • You rearrange your make-up drawer to improve the composition.
  • Finally you dump your handbag. Your lipstick, license and credit-cards fit fine in your new camera bag.
  • You have unsuccessfully tried to go back to ‘green mode’ seventeen times.
  • The camera you hold is more comfortable than the trainers on your feet.
  • You can’t post your daily picture today – it was accidentally taken in ‘P’ not ‘M’ – the EXIF shows you up.
  • In-out; in-out; in-out… Your 500mm zoom is endlessly fascinating.
  • You stop using Facebook because of ‘copyright’ issues.
  • Dilapidated, rat infested, paint peeling, crumbling old barns are ‘romantic’ and ‘atmospheric’.
  • This joke first appeared on www.Photokonnexion.com. Pass it on! Please give us credit, link to our site and pass on this line too. Thank you.

Yesterday… the hopelessly addicted male photographer?
Why not share your photographic weak spots. Leave a comment…

By Damon Guy (author and Photokonnexion editor)

Damon Guy - Netkonnexion

Damon Guy (Netkonnexion)

Damon is a writer-photog and editor of this site. He has run some major websites, a computing department and a digital image library. He started out as a trained teacher and now runs training for digital photographers.
See also: Editors ‘Bio’.

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